Saturday, April 08, 2006

LIFE SHOULD BE THIS SIMPLE(TM)

So. I am in Washington DC. I park my car in the parking lot of the RONALD REAGAN BUILDING. I didn't have breakfast yet today. And that was a bad idea. I need to drink a SMOKING HOT COFFEE. Outside it is raining cats and dogs. I am freezing just thinking about it. I am going to get seriously wet today. I don't even have an umbrella. Actually I don't own one. I SPOT A COFFEE SHOP IN THE GROUND FLOOR OF THE BUILDING. Good! This is funny ... these guys Trademarked the phrase LIFE SHOULD BE THIS SIMPLE(TM). This country is great ... in few years the publishers will have to pay royalties to the thousands of US companies to put nouns and explanatory phrases on the vocabularies. Anyway ... there is a long line before me. I start checking the map ... I want to see same modern art today ... and I am sure I will find it here ... I mean ... the NATIONAL GALLERY of ART of DC is supposed to be one of the best in the world ... HAPPY! Mmmm ... what about the NATIONAL AIR AND SPACE MUSEUM? Probably. I am so sleeeeepy ... again I did blog too much last night and I didn't sleep ... I am closing my eyes ... why I am here!? ... I should be in my bed right now ... I can't keep open my eyes ...

How can I help you Sir?
So ... I would like a medium regular coffee and a croissant, please.
Are you sure you want a medium one? For 20cents more you can have the BIG one.
Mmmm ... actually I am really sleepy ... OK ... give me the BIG one, please.
BTW, we don't have croissant ...
Sorry if I am asking ... but what about the one over there?
Actually those are for a croissant-sandwich. We don't sell them plain croissant.
Fair enough ... may I have a have a croissant-sandwich in this case?
Sorry Sir, but we don't have time now, can you wait 10 minutes?
Sorry if I am insisting ... may I have the empty croissant ... it is there.
OK ... I shouldn't do it ... but I don't want you to get nervous ...
I am not nervous ...
I think you getting nervous ...
Whatever!
Do you want cream in the coffee. It is 50cents more.
50cents more!?
It is our policy ... do you see here on the counter? Since February 1st.
OK ... actually I drink dark coffee
Are you sure?
Yes ... I am sure.
It is $5.20
Here you go ...
Sorry we don't accept credit card for purchases below $10...
Sorry ... are you a coffee shop or a Jewellery?
Excuse me, Sir?
Never mind ... here the debit card.
Thanks ...

Thanks G-D
Sir ... it doesn't work!
What do you mean?
What I just told you ... it doesn't work ... it hasn't been approved.
But it is a debit card ... not a credit ... it has to work ... OK ... OK ... here $20
Mmmm ... do you have something smaller? I don't know why everybody are coming here with $20 bills today!
Uuuuffff ... probably because the ATM are distributing only $20 bills!? And probably because you are so complicated ... anyway ... let me check. I have $5 ... but the purchase is $5.20 ...
Mmmm ... I am sorry ... you have to wait for the next customer.
You gonna be kidding me!!! I already spent 10 minutes for this bloody coffee ... I would have spent less time to go and pick it up directly in Bogota', Colombia

I am sorry ... the rules are the rules ... NEXT IN LINE!?
... come on ... make me a 20cents discount ... I want my coffee ... I need it!
I can't Sir.
You know what ... I have an idea ... through away the 20cents additional coffee and give me a medium coffee ... so we can match the $5 purchase
Awesome idea Sir ...
What!? You gonna be kidding me, right!?
No Sir ... here you go ... a medium coffee for you Sir.
:O ... I can't believe it ...
Who is the next in the next in the line!? The next in line!? Siiiir!? How can I help you!? Sir, are you here or what!?
Who!? Me!? ... but ... I just ... got one ... where is it!? ... NO ... I didn't ... AGAIN ... did I dream everything!?!? Uuuuffff ... I really to sleep more and now ... I need a coffee ... :O
So ... I would like a medium regular coffee and a croissant, please.
Are you sure you want a medium one? For 20cents more you can have the BIG one.
Mmmm ... actually I am really sleepy ... OK ... give me the BIG one, please.
:O

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

How much for non-fat milk or half and half?

 
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